Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
His hands were made for my vagina.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize