i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize