I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
