you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
