turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
