Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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