So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
