So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
