Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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