If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
