I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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