my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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