dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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