It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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