This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
