Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
