3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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