Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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