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i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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