I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
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