Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
