ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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