I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
