Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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