Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
