Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
