after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
