just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
