He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
