Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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