Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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