i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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