don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
