Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I'm really busy with my period
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