the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
