Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
