He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
