she was so not down for the gang bang
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
