ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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