He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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