how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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