I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
