just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize