maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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