Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Dear god my vagina.
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