Moan for me like Helen Keller
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
