you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
