Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
