We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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