She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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