I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
