I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Small penises have feelings too.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
