and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
