I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
