my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
