Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
