Are we in a gay sports bar?
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
two words...techno handjob
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
