Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize