Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We're using joints as your birthday candles
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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