my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
