Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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