So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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