Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
