Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize