He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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