i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
