Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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