so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize