i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
