id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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