I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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