i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
