guys are not supposed to queef...right?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
