So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize