my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
