I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
this boner is exhausting
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
