He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize