Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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